20 years old means:

- no more a teenager. official term is grown up, adult.

- no more reason to do silly stuff. adults must be responsible for thier own actions. silly stuff = act cute

- my parents getting old

- graduation = finding job

- no job = jobless

- got job = politics + faking (what a coincidence. I happen to hate this two things!)

- easy bone breaking (Cherry said Andene isnt good enough)

- baby or toodlers are entitled to call me aunty

- and yes, some eyes raising if im still single

- What? What did I miss? Wrinkles??!!! NO WAY. Is there???!!!!

Yes. 20 doesnt only mean 20. 20 isnt just a number. It's a disaster. I told my mum that if they are going to celebrate birthday with me, they had to treat it like im celebrating my 16 years old birthday. I only wanna see 1 big candle and 6 small candles. I dont care if I need more breath to blow out the candles. I dont even care if I will be too breathless for other activities after blowing out the candels. I just want 16.

Im on mood swing today. Morning was fine until the time near lesson end. I shouldnt have emo. Today is Johnny's birthday. Being the leader of J.T fans club (I just knew I rank higher than wanyan today.), I should be the most high person. But I was like a person whose soul was sucked by a dementor.(from Harry Potter. Dementor is a sadist who like to inflict sadness and sucks people's happiness away.) Suddenly, I found all the reasons to be sad. Sad about how people who are friends can just ignore and act like they dunno you  at the corridor. Sad for Johnny about how possible his contract may not renew in September. Sad about how few friends I had from so many years of schooling. They just washed me like waves of grievance. Im drowned in sorrows.

Maybe this is part of ageing. Ageing makes people emo.

Note: Dont be affected by what I mentioned above. Life is still beautiful despite being old and feeble. Just dont knock onto me on the street. I didnt even drink Andene.

11:24 PM