Made mistake at work again. Got lectured a little by Alice, the routing coordinator. I think I really had the guilty, apologetic face until everybody was busy consoling me that it's alright to make mistakes when Alice probably just said two or three sentences to me. Maybe my impression to them was those weak weak kind. Those who will burst out crying after one scolding or what. But im still very grateful to them for covering me up whenever I made mistakes.

I shall talk about other topic. I also realised my focus had been on sip, sip, sip even before the start of sip after old cai pointed out to me. I wanna say about the 7pm show on Channel 8. There's only one description: sucks. It's horrible + terrible + everything bad. I dunno why it can be put on aire. Didnt mean to watch it purposely but the stupid mobile TV that seem to be installed in most of the bus kept playing the show exactly when I take the bus everyday. Casts sucks, acting sucks, storyline sucks, chemistry sucks, music sucks... Given my so many years of dramas reviewing career, this had successfully classified into one of the worst show ever. I think Channel 8 is degenerating. It's getting worse by every year. Haiz.

Another issue is the child care centre construction is postponing to this Friday because the MP is willing to listen to residents' voices and opinions. I dunno to how many extent my email had helped to change her mind but I feel pretty proud inside to think that she maybe decided to meet residents because of my email. Not only that, they had sent some survey to every home for us to feedback if we are unhappy about certain constructions they are planning. Hohoho. Im a difficult residents, a pure singaporean who only knows how to complain. =P

I almost fall asleep while typing but I just ate not long ago. What should I do? I wanna sleep~~ =(

My desk...

My mood was damn pretty on Saturday. I was going back school!!! I love school!!! Love love love!!! After so long of bypassing school on the way to work, the so near yet so far feel, I was finally going back school. Dunno how to describe that feeling. I dunno why I love this school so much. I just love it. By the way, I was late for around 10 minutes. Even the feeling of lateness is so familiar.

On campus training simply means sharing of experience within the class. So nostalgic to sit in a class, see my classmates and almost fell asleep while listening. Tan Poh Chuan never fails to at least make us laugh once in class. And I envy my classmates very very very much when I heard they learnt to use those computer systems at work. They seem very important..... At least more important than me and they sound really genuine in enjoying work. I envy them so much. I wonder if I can learn as much in DTrans. =( But Selwyn Lim kept assuring me that I will learn much more in small company. I realised I seem to be the only few who got placed in small company. The rest are those big big MNCs, etc etc. It means good and bad. But I just hope I can learn a lot a lot instead of sorting consignment and answer calls all days long. When Hong Xiang shared that he learnt what Central Purchasing, I felt my eyes popped with envy. I came in to Logistics field because I wanna try to be purchaser. He's so fortunate. =X

Went to Tampines 1 for Subway. Ate until full full. Subway's cookies are still the best. Went to arcade to look for House of the dead or Silent Hill and found none. The arcades in T1, TM and CS are lousy and pathetic. In the end, we still head for Ehub. Ehub arcade is the best. I was supposed to pair with Cherry when playing Silent Hill. Somehow, that player's gun got problem and everyone die very fast. I end up playing alone and I killed one of the boss, ok! I miss wenni whenever im playing arcade. =P Daytona was fun! Stupid celine went to bump me and made our car collapsed. I was the second one! After I collapsed, I barely had time to recover and I realised I was the last already. Stupid celine!!!!!!! =P

The group went to chat after that at Nebo cafe with only a milo purchase. Everyone was actually unhappy at work. So we spilled everything out. I really understand how they feel and when they are unhappy, I was unhappy with them. Wanyan.... =( I understand. Really understand. You need to work harder. Dun think this way. I know you already put in a lot of efforts already but you just got to work harder. I support you. Dun let them treat you this way anymore. =(

Went off around 5:30 to meet Kaima, mum and brother. Kaima treated us to dinner. They ordered my favourite cereal sotong. =D I realised I ate my three meals fully nowadays. I think im getting fatter with no exercise and constant eating. So guilty.

Today is my lunar birthday. Honestly, I dun really take note of lunar stuff. But my mum and dad specially went to buy a cake for me. My mum cooked mee sua with egg for me this morning. I felt so ashamed for myself because after the unhappy incident about the stupid email to MP stuff, they still are so concerned about me. =( My dad brought me and brother (my mum working) to Popular expo. The stuff over there are so cheap. Good bargain! 3 books for $10!!! Im glad we went. It's a pity I didnt find any story book over there. By the way, I like expo too. And my dad treat us to dinner at Bedok after that. How I wish everyday is so carefree. Need to work tomorrow again. Sigh. Need to see consignment notes again. Sigh. Need to answer calls again. Sigh... Another week of dreading. Miss everyone. =X

I love Friday. Because I get to see my friends every friday and complain. Was so busy on Friday with consignment notes and phone calls. I always wonder why the phone wun explode like my television with so many calls every minutes. By the way, if you dun understand what im saying, my television in my dad's room exploded that day when my mum was watching her longwinded Taiwan drama. Got the "Boom" sound and a lot of smokes came out from the television. But it seems alright now. If it explodes again, I make sure I take a photo and let you all see.

I got something happy wanna say. I got 3 usual customers calling for me currently. And I was so busy entertaining them the whole day because they had quite a lot of placements. Wahahahaha. So proud!

Went to meet Van and yiling at Vivo after work. Travelled along with celine and weiping. Was so hungry when we reached. I miss Vivo so much. It felt a century since I ever stepped step foot in there. The feeling to window shop, chill and enjoy seems so remote. Like I haven fully enjoy for a very long time. It's a pity we only stayed there a while. But it felt like a luxury to eat and chit chat even if it's just a while. I only haven met Van for 3 weeks but I felt like we haven met for so long. So much to talk. =( I miss everybody. I can only even see my dad on Sunday because I worked in the morning and he worked in the night. Miss miss miss miss miss. =( And before I forgot. Under special request, I dedicate this part to Holly.

Holly Holly Holly Holly Holly Holly Holly Holly Holly Holly Holly Holly Holly Holly
Holly Holly Holly Holly Holly Holly Holly Holly Holly Holly Holly Holly Holly Holly
Holly Holly Holly Holly Holly Holly Holly Holly Holly Holly Holly Holly Holly Holly

How's it??? =P

Seriously lagging in blogging. I wanna blog on Thursday but the heartless brother wun let me used his com for only 30 mins because he dun wanna let his Yonghan wait. For your information, Yonghan is his primary school best friend. Qing mei zu ma. Status even higher than this sister. So I was devoided from com for nearly 5 days. Reason for not opening my com is because this com is even slower than its owner. Given opening, warming up and shutting down can take half an hour. Haiz.

Thursday
I been wanting to show you all what I have been doing. Finally found a chance to take photos. People, take a look at these arts...

To people who never see these papers before, these are consignment notes. You may get fantasize when you first see them. Wait till you see them longer, you will realise your eyes start to get blurry, anger will start building from within. If you arent good at self control, there is a high chance of setting the whole table on fire.

Anyway, that's what im doing these few days and possibly for the next few weeks. Im so sick of consignment notes. Wanna puke already. Something interesting happen though. I pulled a prank call to my colleague. Hahahahaha. Of course without the presence of my boss. Though I had repeat countless time, I will just repeat again for the sake of people who haven heard of this.

There is this one colleague (Andy) who always prank call on another of my colleague (Kavitha). Then this day, Kavitha came in to the boss office and told me to help her get revenge. I was using boss's table temporary that day. So I agreed to help her without much thinking.

(Phone call rang)
Kavitha: (to me) You wait ar. (To Andy) Andy, your call.
Andy: Hello. How may I help you?
Me: What are you all doing? How come my documents arent here yet?!! (soft giggle)
Andy: (Panicked) Er. Sorry, Madam. Which company are you from?
Me: (Looked at the consignment notes) Allied. I placed my orders so long ago. What are you all doing?
Andy: Sorry, mdm. There are three jobs we recieved today from your company. Which job do you refer to?
Me: (Panicked. Dunno what jobs he received.) Dun you guys have my record? How do you all work? I wanna speak to your colleague!
Andy: Okay. Im sorry mdm. You give me a minute. (Hold)
(Outside)
Andy: (Panicked) Eh! Who accept the Allied jobs? Now the person called to complain. I dunno how to handle.
(Me giggle like mad in the office.)
Alice: I go speak to the person. (To the phone) Hello. Sorry, you are?
Me: (softly) Alice, it's me. Ying zhen lah.
Alice: Huh? I cant hear you.
Me: Ying Zhen!
Alice: Ying Zhen! Why are you calling from inside to outside??!!!!

Me and Kavitha laughed out loud. Andy with the blur look until he was awared he was tricked and laughed with us. =P That was the only fun time I enjoyed with my colleagues. The usual office is too dead. ^ ^

My void deck is going to be constructed into a child care centre. I dun like it. There's already a Metta school beside my house. Why are there so many schools? They informed us last minute on Wednesday and constructed on Thursday without getting our consent. Im angry and I love my void deck, the place where I used to play with my brother, aaron and zoe since young. I sent an email to the MP without thinking much that night. Had a really nasty scolding from my mum after that. Wun wanna elaborate anymore. Spoil my mood. I hope the Ang Moh who start the Stop-child-care-centre campaign will win. Feel so angry for not able to help. =(

I dun really like pink. But I guess pink isnt used to describe good things for nothing. Pink in health, pink in this, pink in that. Friday is a good day. So friday is pink. Green is used to describe sick. So it means im sick of tuesday. Wednesday is red because im angry why there's still so many days left to work. Thursday is orange because the anger subsized.

Very lame. But working makes every not funny lame stuff possible. Try working on consignment notes the whole day and you see if you can remain normal and wun talk to yourself. I think wanyan can understand this feeling best. One fine day, I wanna tear and burn away all those shitty consignment notes and send them to hell. muahahahahahaha. Thousands and thousands of people are going to thank me and worship me like a god. =P

Worked until 7pm today without anybody to ask me to OT. I wonder if they will kind enough to pay me OT pay. I doubt so anyway. Just submit my reflection to old lim. Though he said one paragraph is enough, longwinded me still sent 3 paragraphs. Buy one get two free. Overall look not bad. At least I really did learnt a lot. Daniel told me to draw flow chart. My chart was rejected 3 times until the current one is left for pending for improvement. I thought it looks very good and impressive. I was even proud of myself. =( But daniel rejected them. By the way, I think he used timer to time how long I took to amend flow chart. I saw him looking for his handphone to stop the timer when I submit my draft. I wonder why he do that. Didnt know if it's because I did too long or too short.

Im actually looking forward to old lim's prominent visit. But he didnt send any emails or messages to inform the visit. Im starting to think he wun come at all. =X So im trying to persuade Andrew to bring me out tomorrow. And he wants me to finish my work. =( Another wish gone. Tsk tsk. How can yesterday and today differ so much?

For not the first time, I find that im a pampered person. Im lucky to have a happy family and friends that I really treasured. So much so that I wish everything can remain this way forever and ever. After so much thoughts that I kept to myself, I finally said everything out to shuhui. I realised I felt much relieved after saying out. =)

I didnt know you all will treat it so seriously. Im so sorry to doubt our friendship and thought you all didnt care about me. Haha. And I cried because im so relieved you all were not offended by me and treasured the friendship the way I do. (Yes, holly. Our friendship will continue on and on until we are old granny.) Duh, im just getting emo. Maybe age problem. As a person grows older, the person gets more paranoid. =P

Today hei-ing is so relaxing. Though we didnt cycle, though I didnt get to rot at home, I feel the day was well spent. And im actually very happy for shu hui. Because you finally found someone who can let you bully and still smile happily back at you. =P He looks very bully-able.

To make up for little mentioning of you two in my blog, I specially dedicate the below for you two.

ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly ShuHui Holly

Hahaha. Hope you all will like it. =P

Had a big shock when the long lost sia lisong called and made me join his MLM. Hahahaha. It's not as if I haven get enough from MLM. Sorry, but I still think it's a wise thing to stay away from MLM.

PS: Let's go to take flyer and play badminton next time. I wanna cut my hair. ^ ^

Slept for less than 4 hours on Friday night. So I went home to sleep after lunch yesterday. Slept from 6pm to 9:30pm. Watched shows and continue to sleep at 12 to this morning 11:30am. Literally a pig's life. So im pretty energetic now. Didnt went to play arcade yesterday. Ended up my mum not meeting kaima. =X But at least I replenished my sleep. Now trying to repay my photo debt. A bit messy.

Wanna have a proper rest and surf the net. Who knows the first website I came to, my blog, looked like it had some nasty looking advertisement wrapped around the whole page. All small little boxes screamed "ipeace accounts inactive for 90 days". Scared me because I just didnt enter to blog for 3 days only. So I quickly went around to find my blog a new skin and do some implant to have it makeover. I still have some time trying to accustomise to this grumphy toast rather than my sparkling skin.

Back to my boring job entry. I made two serious mistakes on Friday. One urgent document supposed to send to Tuas. But because I wrote the address wrongly, the document was sent back to Ubi. The driver came up and said he couldnt find the place. I went to check and realised I copied the wrong address. =( Nobody dared to scold me. They just told me I had to be careful next time. But I know they were unhappy that they had waste a trip and delayed the delivery. The customer even called to complain. I confessed my mistake to Daniel. Instead of scolding me, he said my colleagues should have known the customer's company address after working so long and shouldnt make the mistake. He even went out to tell them off. Made me feel even worse because it looked like im complaining to him when it clearly is my mistake.

Another mistake is also about writing the wrong address. But it wasnt really my fault this time round because the customer's detail wasnt update that they had moved. I called to let the customer fax us their address but that customer was so unhappy that she scolded me and said she had already sent us a lot of times. =( So I just kept on apologising. The stuff to do suddenly piled up near evening. Andrew made me do HR stuff and said I was the unauthorised HR personnel because my name sounds like "interview" in chinese. I was so worried I cannot make it to go to Yiling's grandpa funeral. Celine and weiping already knocked off at 6pm while im still rushing through my job. Then, wanyan message me they had to do OT and cannot come. I was so sad that our meeting was ruined by OT. =(

Fortunately, they finished their work on time and agreed to meet. So me, celine and weiping went to weiping's house to wait for them since weiping's house is near to the funeral place. That was the first time I went to weiping's house. Personally, I think her house was fully equiped to prepare for war. I think their food supply is able to last them for several months. I initially planned to eat with them outside but weiping stuffed me and celine a plate of fried noodles each while waiting. I even ate two packets of biscuits.

Finally, wanyan and wenni reached and we headed off to yiling's grandpa funeral. We were so not appropriate because we laughed a lot over there. I feel like we haven meet for so long and we had so much to say. Poor wanyan finally had a chance to make up for her one- week- worth- of- silence and talked a lot. She and wenni ate a lot too. I didnt know that the funeral prepared so much foods. I was already quite full by the time so I missed out on the good foods. First time saw yiling's dad. The usual cool cool yiling is like a little girl in front of her dad because her dad kept patting on her head. So hilarious.

We left the place near 11pm. Very late because I still got work on saturday. But we still had a very serious mission to give wenni her presents. So we went to mac after that. Pity yiling didnt come along. Cuz the whole session was very funny. Miss Chelsey always aspired to become a cop, so we had a mini certificate giving at the mac. The name of the police force is Siao Ting Dong Police Force. Im the commisioner. Hohoho. So im the one to present and shake hand with wenni. We gave her a mini handcuff after the cert. The best part was to present her with a wooden hand made gun by me. I really spent a lot of effort to make the gun because the wooden pieces didnt fit some of the holes. I broke one of the pieces and had my dad saw another one out from the remaining wood. Oh, and we also gave her a cook book to satisfy her cooking. So miss chelsey, you know what to give me next year. I want the best of eye cream to get rid of dark rings, manicure to make up for my broken nails and desserts made from the cook book. muahahahahaha. All too soon, I had to leave. Darn Andrew for calling me back to work on Saturday. If not, I can stay longer. I miss everybody. Cya next Saturday for on campus session.

54 working days left to my beautiful 26th November. On that day, everything will turn beautiful, brighter and even shit also smell nicer. Okay. Im disgusting. But im a creative person who can can think of shit to describe the beautiful day. Muahahahaha.

I started to pick up phone calls yesterday. It was chaotic. A lot of orders came in the morning. While I picked up one phone, the other one started ringing. Feel like smashing the telephone and shouted the hell out of the person. I had got a lot im unsure of. So I asked them to repeat one or two times. Some unpatient people will just ask me why I didnt check for their records and need them repeat themselves. Others were quite nice and spell word by word for the address. I never know Singapore got so many wierd wierd road place. There was one person who called to enquire about her order. I asked my colleague and she said it's at Sengile (or dunno what). I wasnt sure how to pronouce so I told the caller; "Urm, the document is currently at Senile road." And the person gave me a big HUH back. Made me panic and wanna laugh after the incident.

Made a mistake too. Documents needed to be collect and delivered by yesterday, I mixed it up as today. Almost couldnt make the delivery.

A new bird joined the company today. She came in for interview yesterday and got in today. A malaysian. So I happily make friend with her because we both were new. And at least I worked longer than her. Muahahahaha. I was like a mentor. Told her this, told her that. She reminds me of myself last wednesday. By the way, I advanced to sitting outside already. So she took my place and sit in front of Daniel. The route coordinator, Andy didnt come today. Daniel took over his work and I kept hearing him "Wa lao" this and "Wa lao" that. Personally, I think Andrew is nicer than Daniel. Because he works rather than complains. =P

Andrew joked with me that he will leave the improvement section that is meant to be filled in by him for me. I told him I'll write everything nice about me and he told me he will sign the paper and help me copy my script if im worried they will recognise my handwriting. =D Either Old Lim or Teo Kee Boon will visit me next week. I dunno if I should anticipate or worry. =P

Monday blues starts yesterday. Dun wanna work. Wanna cheat my way through internship but im a good kid who's bad at truant this kind of thing. Somehow, slowly and slowly, I really did feel that im adapting to the place and lifestyle. No matter how impossible it sounds, I feel that I really do. And I cant deny that I really learnt stuff. I faxed today!!! Muahahahahaha. And picked up calls today. They are so damn scary. Im still very unsure of what to say during phonecalls. But my supervisors and colleagues are all very helpful. They taught me patiently even though they are so busy. Tomorrow, there will only be me and another person picking up calls. Im so worried if I can do it well. It's going to be pretty busy.

Daniel added me in the discussion of the new software for the company. Finally, I saw something familiar and learnt before. But im still wasnt too sure how the whole thing work. I just know that there are a lot that has got to be done.

I saw dear Chloe at the bridge today!!!!! Im so happy that we screamed at sight!!! =D I miss her so much. Even though she always make fun of me and everything, im a nice person who only remembers the good things. =P We chatted until I cant bear to take bus home. I missed a total of 3 bus 9 and dunno how many bus 38 and 12. But I dun care. I just wanna talk with her. ^ ^

Specially dedicate the above song to everybody. Be it working, studying or slacking. I miss everyone of you. We will work this out and can work this out. =)

Im just a pampered kid lady. Today was such a joyous day at home. Did everything I like. Slept until 1:30pm in the afternoon. Watched TV. Ate breakfast cum lunch. Surf net. Facebooking until now. Though my mum never say, I know that she very worried about me. Because of some stupid things I said on tuesday when we saw the company. And because I was so dead tired that I almost fell asleep during shopping. I feel like im a dowager at home. On wednesday when I got back, my mum instructed my brother to wait on me. Usually during meal, he's suppose to lay out the food, etc and im suppose to wash dirty plates, etc. Yet, I was freed from all household chores on that day. Like a dowager, I just sat on my chair, watch tv while my brother did everything for me. =P

I felt uneasy yesterday. I think my tired look betrayed me. My kaima and mum thought I felt it boring to follow them out and believed I wun follow them next week. So I tried to make up by agreeing to eat dinner with them next Saturday. And I had ginseng to drink today... How exaggerate can my treatment goes? =)

By the way, I forgot to add some stuff yesterday.
1) Andrew told me that he requested for two placements to TP but in the end, they just sent me alone there. I felt so sad to know that I actually can have another companion with me. Was talking to old vege just now. I so hope she be in my company. =X

2) Drivers' pay arent as good as jenny boasted. Friday was their pay day. Daniel taught me how to calculate salary for the workers. I realised that even though they wake up at 6am daily to do extra deliveries, the most they get was only around $1000+. Not even $2000. One of my colleague working in the office was so pathetic. She worked for the company one year and was so hardworking. But her basic pay was only $850 because she was from China. I exclaimed and asked Daniel why her pay so low and got hushed by Daniel. He also felt uneasy and he added $50 to her pay. =P

Haiz. Sunday come and go like a breeze. Im so looking forward to 26 November. I just decided with Old vege that I wanna drink, scream and shout etc on that day. Not planning to go home early. Wanna spoil my liver. Anybody interested?? ^ ^

Internship already entered the fourth day. Im trying my very best to adapt to the new environment, using blank mind to numb myself from all the missing of friends and my ex lifestyle. If I didnt do that, I guessed I would have break down. I thought I am the only one who feel this way but I just realised everybody misses everything the way I do too. I forgot to mention in previous post that I saw weiping and celine at safra bus stop on wednesday while I was on bus 8, going for work. They were trying to catch glimpse of me on the bus but only weiping saw me. After I saw them, I immediately regret to request seeing each other this way because it's so sad. Had to control those stubborn tears again.

I dunno what's wrong. It's very very very long since I felt this way. This kind of sad parting feeling. It's not as if we not meeting anymore and we just met on tuesday. But I just got this feeling. Indescribable.

I managed to talk more yesterday. I had nothing to do most of the time. Daniel kept asking me to write address for the invoices that have to be sent out. Easy job that was completed within an hour or so. So I volunteered to help my colleagues takeaway. Going out was so comfortable. Like some temporary breaking away from the cage. I wanna take my time to scroll and buy foods but the sky was black and there was drizzle. So I had to hurry back. =X I kept asking them to assign me jobs but they also dunno what I know how to do. Halfway while Daniel was making calls, I got really bored and almost sleep in front of him. Andrew wanna assigned me to deliver a cheque to the building beside but Daniel retained me, saying he need me to do postage. But everything was too boring so Andrew very helpfully said he wanna take me out for delivery.

That was probably the best part so far. But honestly, his driving cannot make it. His car has got a heavy stench of smoke which made me damn uncomfortable. His driving was slow to the extent that he drove 60km/h on expressway. Got a lot of people honked him. Two cars overtook him at bend. And he always asked "Why the rush?". I wanna tell him but I too chicken. Afterall, he's my supervisor. =P

Had their meeting at 6pm. My knock off time delayed, sad. =( I learnt that we will have uniform next week. Bright bright yellow. Just like Business Tee. =( Memories, memories, memories. Other than that, the meeting was not very beneficial to me. Hm. Wait. Maybe got another thing that was beneficial..... Daniel ordered fried chicken and mash potato for all the staff as staff welfare after meeting. So I ate. You know I very shy. Dun dare to eat but I too hungry and they insisted me to eat, so I ate a little. Just a little only. =P Andrew assigned one of the driver uncles to drive me home since that uncle live in Pasir Ris. That uncle was very friendly. Im so happy I made another friend in that company.

Today was another day of postage. I picked up the calls too. Because the company is looking for accountant cum admin stuff. So I helped to pick up phone calls for enquiries about the job. Fortunately, today was only half day. Because im so tired. After job, I still went out with mum and kaima. Bought a slipper which I miss wearing so much but cant wear. I hate cover shoe and jean. Even went to Crystal Jade for dinner. Due to laziness, I didnt upload the photos. But the foods are nice. While mum and kaima were buying herbs, I almost fell asleep. And I slept on bus this morning. Something which I will avoid so much in the public. =( I NEED SLEEP!!!

I checked my results. Finally. Im so worried. Old lim messaged me on yesterday to ask if im happy with my results. Scared me. But the results turned out pretty fine. I wanna boast!!! I got Z for Calculus. =D

Miss ya...

SIP officailly started yesterday. Wanna blog yesterday while my memory still fresh but I was too tired. Afterall, I didnt sleep well the night befire SIP and I need to wake up at 6am the next day. 6am. I got a long long time didnt wake up at 6am. Miss my bed dearly. And miss everybody equally dearly. I had already forgotten the type of feeling when I had to be alone, alone and alone. Nobody to talk and laugh to. My newly hot used emoticon is a sad face. =( I kept sending sad face to everybody. Starting of first day, I sent messages to wish people good luck. Wanted to have a good start and give people my blessings. Who knows. Halfway sending, I wanna stop sending already because I realised the tears had already accumulated and are in danger of falling.

Going to the company was every terror that I imagined. So helpless, so scary, so sad. The whole building consists of a lot of individual small company. My company isnt big. Right beside it was another company Old Lim wants me to look out for. LOM Logistics. It's like they wanna remind me of those happy memories along my way to the sad new company. I had to take bus 8 which also routed through TP. My old- so- dear TP. Never miss you so much before. =(

I was very early this two days. Something abnormal for me. But I wasnt normal during SIP. Cuz I lost all my ability to talk a lot like usual. Met Daniel Chen the first thing. He asked me what I learnt in my course and pressurized me unknowingly. I tried to dig through my blur memory and can only relate him the titles of all our subjects learnt. Pretty pathetic. They were very busy very early in the morning. Phone calls non- stop. So I wasnt really formally introduced to my colleagues. While they were busy doing their jobs, I stood around hopelessly looking at them, trying not to obstruct their way. Almost burnt my eyes to stop myself from crying again. Daniel Chen didnt know what to do with me and brought me along to his drivers location. While he was busy assigning jobs to the drivers, I once again stood there hopelessly. The uncles arent as friendly as I thought. One of them talked to me. He said ;"Yes? Is there anything? Do you know Singapore routes? No? Why are you here?" I can only smile and said Im trying to learn. But I feel so useless deep down.

Daniel Chen dun dare to assign me tough jobs. He tried to teach me how to make his invoices using Microsoft Access. Something which I think I learnt before but was forgotten. Gave up halfway and do himself. I didnt even have a proper table of my own. So I sat in front of him at his desk like a visitor. Though I can see that the colleagues are nice people, I dunno what I can say to them. Totally speechless like a dumb. =( And I realised they dun eat out. They bought foods into the office to eat because the phone calls rang so often. And they were nice enough to takeaway for me. So I sat at a corner, eating alone. Another thing I hate so much. The whole company system was very messy. They got lost invoices, typo errors, wrong inputs, etc. I felt like im in a case study trying to identify what consequences the situation will worsen into. But even if I identified, I dunno how to salvage it appropriately. I saw Daniel instructed one of the staff to sort out the September invoices. Taking advantages, I bravely volunteered to do it and continue to sort it until 6pm.

Another supervisor, Andrew Chia, came in and out of office. Very busy. Initially I thought he's a driver. But turns out he's my supervisor. I found out that he was a lecturer in the past and teo kee boon was his formal regional manager!!! Teo kee boon!!! I was suddenly so proud of him. That Andrew Chia was more friendly and approachable. While I was so downcast at the end of the job, he talked to me that he actually had planned schedule for me. He said the company is moving to another place in ubi and he hoped I can take the opportunity to learn while they develop other departments. He even said that I will follow Daniel for a few weeks, do admin a few weeks, follow him a few weeks to meet customers and follow the drivers a few weeks to see their routing. So I got hopeful after first day, knowing that during the 12 weeks, I may get to learn different things.

Today I was still doing invoices. There were too much errors. The company has no system and was cancelling the orders when consignment notes cant be found. The people arent exactly coordinate. It's a mess. So I tried to correct the error invoices prices and invalid payment, etc. Was a tough and tiring job. But I was glad im catching up in just the second day. Hope that I will do well.

The happiest time now is whenever I finished my job and go home. Home was the best heaven. But I only had few hours of TV before I had to sleep. Paris and Milan just ended today. I lost one of my happiness source. I am very certain this is not the type of life I want. I wun let my life ended so miserably into the 9- 6 chain. =(

People, miss all of you dearly.

I hope time will freeze now. I will stuck in a lecture room with Jenny or Wee wee for 10 hours rather than to go to the unknown place tomorrow. I went to see the company today. It's a terror to know that I need to go there everyday for 12 weeks from now on. This birthday has been a sad one. Yesterday optimistic vapourized the moment I saw the building. Imagine walking alone to a company with everybody unknown to you. Starting everything anew isnt an easy job. Reminds me of going to first day of Poly, first day of year 2. Very very very tough. I wish somebody can save me and let me exchange SIP with Jenny's 12 hours lecture now. I will accept readily and wun complain a word.

Finally found my covered shoes and jean but I wasnt happy. Im glad I asked wanyan and celine out today for shopping instead of choosing to emo at home. At least I brighten up a bit. At least I can see weiping, celine and wanyan before we are separated for 2 weeks. =(

I need to be strong. Need to be brave. I need to make friends tomorrow. Jia you Jia you. People, jia you for SIP. We have to do it!!!

Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me~~~

As far as I dread, im already 20 and 2 hours years old. Am an old old old woman who's going to be more nagging, more irritating and more CHILDISH. Sorry but it's going to be a natural thing that I cant change. A few hours ago, while im still 19 years old, I had been pretty sad. Sad that I arent going to be teenager anymore. Amazingly, a few hours later, the 20 years old me suddenly thought brightly that I cant keep being miserable because I had a lot more ages to come. It's tiring to be sad and I had already been sad the whole day. =)

Life still go on and im a blessed girl with family and friends. Received so many wishes and presents that made me feel that I cant ask for more. Because I would be greedy if I ask.

Went to SIP launch today, or rather yesterday. Though im very sad that nobody went in same company as me, I would still consider myself lucky because:
1) My LO is Mr Selwyn Lim who was so uptight about our welfare and message me just now to approach him if I had difficulty finding the company.
2) My company isnt too far from my home. (Though it's not at Changi Air freight which I strongly believe I would enter) But compared with my friends, I have relatively lesser travelling time.
3) My company is providing me with uniform so I dun have to buy formal and waste money.
4) Old Lim said my supervisors are easy to get along.
5) I may not need to stick at the desk all day round and can get to deliver goods with some uncles which I may need to befriend. (I believe they would not "h-arrested" me.) If I succeed in making friends with these uncles, they may bring me to "la" kopi or "jia liu lian" (drink coffee and eat durians).
6) It's a small comapany with high likeliness that there wun be politics.

So, I should think positively now. Though deep down, I feel that everything sucks, I know I need a positive mind to keep me going.

I regret spending my precious last few moments of 19 years old depressing so much. Im so touched that I had a second rounds of celebration with Long John's chocolate pie with the same group of people. I didnt know that they are celebrating my birthday again and I was bluffed that the cakes were meant for Old Vege. Old vege also thought that the cakes were meant for me. So we got bluffed together and was successfully shocked when they sang us both happy birthday song. Old Vege received her beloved Otaku's House stuff and an unique skeleton as card from us. Im so interested to see one day when weiping and celine ran out of idea to give us surprise and unique presents.

Wanna buy covered shoes and jeans today but had no mood finding. Walked until my legs now super pain. Found interest in arcade again. I been playing a lot of arcade games lately. House of the dead is fun too. Hohoho. Im a sicko who like to shoot those disgusting monsters and see them explode. (Yuck!) Going to track down my intern company and buy shoes and jeans tomorrow.

Then again, thank you all so much for those wishes and gifts. (To vanesa and hanping: I will finish those m&m even if it means that im going to be poisoned to death.) And sorry that I reply very late. I always got lazy trying to reply messages. But you know I will still get back to you all ultimately. =D

(You all always make fun of me but I know deep down, you all dote on me a lot. Dun deny. muahahahaha. Im so pampered. =P)

Saturday
Because I wanted to save money, I rejected Ronale's proposal to watch movie. We went to picnic instead, buying sushi, chips and drinks. Shu hui even brought her Vodka along for some mixing. As usual, I was late and I met heavy jam not long before my bus set off from my bus stop. The jam made me stuck at the place for near 20 minutes until I saw a big pool of water at the T-Junction at Tampines 201. There was even fire engine and police cars. Both lane were blocked and the bus actually changed its route!!! The whole bus got so panicked and they kept pressing the bell but was ignored by the driver. The driver finally made its U-turn near the big market at Tampines and went back its original route. All these episodes made me very very very late. Though I told them to Shu hui and she said she believes me, I still dun think she believes me. =(

We walked around for foods before setting off to East Coast Park. That's when the conflict between shu hui and ronale happened. Thinking back, I think the conflict was really really silly. But the situation was so awkward after everything happened. None of them spoke much to each other and I felt really really sad. Though it was a total new experience to sit at the beach, eating, drinking and playing, the feeling was wierd. It's just so not right and I dun like it. I felt that because we hardly meet up like that, we should treasure it instead of bickering. And by left or right, we are already friends of four years. How long is it? One quarter of our life. I dun like to spend a day in this way. I just cant get happy enough to overlook this problem even though we played a lot of poker games. So are we going to just avoid going out together because of the silly conflict? =( Shu hui and Holly said I drank a lot and asked if there was anything im so unhappy about. Honestly, Yes. This is the stuff im unhappy about.... =(

Friday
Woke up super early to watch G-Force with Van and Yiling. 11:15am G-Force was worth to catch because those guinea pigs are super duper cute. It's a pity their voices arent as cute as their faces. But they are damn cool and funny. Was left with plenty of time to decide what to eat for lunch with Yiling before the rest came to find us for cycling. Walked a lot of rounds and still decided to eat Super Dog's Fabulous Student meal.

The originally-decided-not-to-come wenni came and shocked me. They all said she came because weiping asked and made me feel sad for having so little persuasion to make wenni come. Went cycling at Pasir Ris park and we taught wenni and wanyan cycle. The ending result was pretty satisfying because the BOTH OF THEM PICKED UP CYCLING!!!! Hohohoho. There was this accomplished feeling that made me pretty proud until now. We even cycled around Pasir Ris park and smelled the horse fart at the horse stable there.

We cycled back near evening and they wanted to eat dinner. I wasnt prepare to eat outside and was on saving mode but I went with them. We went Just Acia for dinner mainly because there was FREE FLOW of drinks and ice cream. Hahahahahaha. Which means I can eat ice cream and drink from any one of them even if im not ordering foods. Muahahahaha. Zero dollar paid for the drinks and ice cream. Wanyan was the happiest one to receive this news because she has got a lot to eat to satisfy her heavy appetite. After I finished my first round of ice cream and Mountain Dew, they said that Root Beer plus Vanilla ice cream make a great combination of float. So I wanted to try and weiping and celine helped me make. While I was still observing the super combi of root beer and vanilla (with foams), they suddenly sang me Happy Birthday song and shocked me. I was still dazed when they passed me my present because I never expect them to celebrate on that day. Under the curiosity of them to know my reaction, I opened the present.

(As I promised miss Chao Si Chelsey, I took the photos.) It was a classy wallet to substitue my old QQ bear wallet. I opened it to find some visa cards sticking inside the wallet. Initially, I thought they were some display cards but when I pulled them out, I realised it was wishes written on the back of those cards. And I even have an ez-link card with Johnny's face on it!!! =D
I felt so rich beacuse I had a lot of banks substantiate my spending - Prawn International, Koala Bank Express, OCBC, etc etc. I got black cards, man!!!

I got to admit. They are so creative to have thought of this way. The cards are so nicely laminated that they looked so real. I really appreciate it. One small wallet, full of wishes, Johnny and EDWARD!!!!! Hahahahahahaha. I found this two twilight and new moon magnet inside my wallet. Feel so blessed to just look at it. And so, I placed one of them inside the photo slot of the wallet and another stick to the whiteboard on my desk.

I never had so many cards before. Just when I thought I can buy myself some decent stuff, I realised the four of them expired. One of the four, miss chelsey's one was even cancelled the night when I went home. The other two black cards were valid until 2010. Which means I have little time to shop for my Prada, Gucci, Chanel, etc.

We were like small kids after the dinner. Went to play arcade. They were all waiting for me to scream like the last time when I played Silent Hill. But, sad to say, 姐姐有练过的. I played "Left 4 dead" on my brother's computer several times just to prepare in case I need to play this kind of game again. So, I disappointed them and didnt scream. =P Wanyan was very power. Though she didnt survive to let us see the dolls as wenni had said, she brought us far into the game level. We played Daytona after that. Im always the last one when I play Daytona. But amazingly, I came in 3rd on the first round and 4th on the second round! Wenni was very pro. She was the first for both rounds. Overtook Yiling last minute on second round. Wanyan kept expressing her amaze to my skill because my car overturned four to five times and I still got 4th in position. I didnt thought of it initially but she kept saying until I also very proud of myself.

Wanna post some add on photos here about Sunday's K session but I suddenly remember wu bai wanted his face covered. I lazy to edit so I decided not to post.

Went to find celine's little brother birthday present in the afternoon. Made me realised that there are a lot of virgos recently. Walked very long and got a locked Tom and Jerry piggy bank and war plane model for him. I imagined his shriek of joy when celine give him the present this saturday and wanna cover my ear automatically. =P

Went to K again at Teo Heng with shuhui and holly. So coincidentally, I got back the same room as Sunday. But this time round, I didnt have much mood for K-ing. Mainly because I sang a lot on Sunday already. So I planned to sit and listen. But shuhui wouldnt allow me to sit peacefully there. Went high with her until it's her turn to sing. Listen, listen, listen until the time is almost up and reality hit me hard. Total cost $47 and my wallet left only the pathetic $10. Suddenly felt that Teo Heng isnt cheap anymore before remembering that there were only the three of us to split bill. Heart pained and I emo, doing simple maths calculation in my head. If going out means a minimal of $30 spent, then I had already spent near $90 this week with a debt to shuhui. =(

And given that my dad gives $50 allowance to my mum each day, im spending more than what my mum can afford to give me at this rate. =( And Ronale wants to watch movie this Saturday. And we are watching G-force tomorrow. And im going out tomorrow, Saturday and Monday. What am I going to do???!!!! Feel so so sad. Suddenly wanna cancel all the appointment and stay at home to just rot. Im pretty happy rotting but I isnt sure how many people are going to be angry with me if I back out everything now. Went home yesterday and my mum asked me how much I had left. I didnt dare to reply I spent everything and still owe shuhui money so I said there's still money left. Tried digging for money from saving but found little. =(

That's it. The story of a penniless girl soon-to-be woman. Double things to emo.

Had our last AGM on tuesday. Hanping said after the AGM, she's no longer the CEO, im no longer the secretary, vanesa no longer the finance manager and yiling no longer the cleaner. But the thing is, the company closed down some way dated two years ago due to serious cash flow problem. We still haven got our pay back. I remembered we opened quite a lot of companies. OKLaw, Sano, etc etc. In the end, there's still no money to sustain even though the total labour is so pathetic.

Because dear CEO insisted on keeping the day activities secret, I wore my usual shorts there to find out that alcoholic, Van wanna drink. Clubbing doesnt accept shorts and CEO and van kept chiding me. =( Make me dun understand why van's flasher dressing with hot pant can be accepted and my shorts cant be accepted. Had some walking and walking and walking and walking around the malls. Walk until no place to walk and we settled down in Berrylite for yogurt. I was taunted by the waffle yogurt ice cream price so I settled for creme brulee which they all insisted that it tasted like cheese cake. (PS: Because im so lazy to save each and every photos and post here, I copied all the photos from yiling's blog. muahahahaha.) All the cakes are so sinful.

While eating, we chat and chat and chat. Gossip here and there like aunty 3 and 6. (San gu liu po) Then van started to complain she found it so hard to go shopping looking for stuffs and passed us our presents. Upon unwrapping, I suddenly remember the trip we went to action city before settling down and guessed the presents correctly. Yiling took the banana and I took the tomato. (Over at action city, I used the banana to poke at the bear hanping was holding.)
The banana and tomato, according to hp and van, is very useful when we got stress out during SIP. While we are holding back to hit the boss or whoever, we can squeeze the poor banana and tomato. And yiling squeeze and shape my tomato into a strawberry with no dot dot. It's a very special gift because I never receive fruits as present before. =P

After that, we had nowhere to go and I think I suggest to go drink because I didnt wanna go home so early. So we went to drink at Barossa at Esplanade.