SIP officailly started yesterday. Wanna blog yesterday while my memory still fresh but I was too tired. Afterall, I didnt sleep well the night befire SIP and I need to wake up at 6am the next day. 6am. I got a long long time didnt wake up at 6am. Miss my bed dearly. And miss everybody equally dearly. I had already forgotten the type of feeling when I had to be alone, alone and alone. Nobody to talk and laugh to. My newly hot used emoticon is a sad face. =( I kept sending sad face to everybody. Starting of first day, I sent messages to wish people good luck. Wanted to have a good start and give people my blessings. Who knows. Halfway sending, I wanna stop sending already because I realised the tears had already accumulated and are in danger of falling.

Going to the company was every terror that I imagined. So helpless, so scary, so sad. The whole building consists of a lot of individual small company. My company isnt big. Right beside it was another company Old Lim wants me to look out for. LOM Logistics. It's like they wanna remind me of those happy memories along my way to the sad new company. I had to take bus 8 which also routed through TP. My old- so- dear TP. Never miss you so much before. =(

I was very early this two days. Something abnormal for me. But I wasnt normal during SIP. Cuz I lost all my ability to talk a lot like usual. Met Daniel Chen the first thing. He asked me what I learnt in my course and pressurized me unknowingly. I tried to dig through my blur memory and can only relate him the titles of all our subjects learnt. Pretty pathetic. They were very busy very early in the morning. Phone calls non- stop. So I wasnt really formally introduced to my colleagues. While they were busy doing their jobs, I stood around hopelessly looking at them, trying not to obstruct their way. Almost burnt my eyes to stop myself from crying again. Daniel Chen didnt know what to do with me and brought me along to his drivers location. While he was busy assigning jobs to the drivers, I once again stood there hopelessly. The uncles arent as friendly as I thought. One of them talked to me. He said ;"Yes? Is there anything? Do you know Singapore routes? No? Why are you here?" I can only smile and said Im trying to learn. But I feel so useless deep down.

Daniel Chen dun dare to assign me tough jobs. He tried to teach me how to make his invoices using Microsoft Access. Something which I think I learnt before but was forgotten. Gave up halfway and do himself. I didnt even have a proper table of my own. So I sat in front of him at his desk like a visitor. Though I can see that the colleagues are nice people, I dunno what I can say to them. Totally speechless like a dumb. =( And I realised they dun eat out. They bought foods into the office to eat because the phone calls rang so often. And they were nice enough to takeaway for me. So I sat at a corner, eating alone. Another thing I hate so much. The whole company system was very messy. They got lost invoices, typo errors, wrong inputs, etc. I felt like im in a case study trying to identify what consequences the situation will worsen into. But even if I identified, I dunno how to salvage it appropriately. I saw Daniel instructed one of the staff to sort out the September invoices. Taking advantages, I bravely volunteered to do it and continue to sort it until 6pm.

Another supervisor, Andrew Chia, came in and out of office. Very busy. Initially I thought he's a driver. But turns out he's my supervisor. I found out that he was a lecturer in the past and teo kee boon was his formal regional manager!!! Teo kee boon!!! I was suddenly so proud of him. That Andrew Chia was more friendly and approachable. While I was so downcast at the end of the job, he talked to me that he actually had planned schedule for me. He said the company is moving to another place in ubi and he hoped I can take the opportunity to learn while they develop other departments. He even said that I will follow Daniel for a few weeks, do admin a few weeks, follow him a few weeks to meet customers and follow the drivers a few weeks to see their routing. So I got hopeful after first day, knowing that during the 12 weeks, I may get to learn different things.

Today I was still doing invoices. There were too much errors. The company has no system and was cancelling the orders when consignment notes cant be found. The people arent exactly coordinate. It's a mess. So I tried to correct the error invoices prices and invalid payment, etc. Was a tough and tiring job. But I was glad im catching up in just the second day. Hope that I will do well.

The happiest time now is whenever I finished my job and go home. Home was the best heaven. But I only had few hours of TV before I had to sleep. Paris and Milan just ended today. I lost one of my happiness source. I am very certain this is not the type of life I want. I wun let my life ended so miserably into the 9- 6 chain. =(

People, miss all of you dearly.