Duhhhhhh. Tomorrow is the bloody presentation day. Tomorrow will be the final end to the FYP craps!!! Happy cuz I dun need to work so hard for this project anymore. Sad cuz I dun think we can group together and work like that ever anymore. Time spent with the group is so happy. Always laugh laugh laugh and forget all the stress and unhappiness. Dunno why I never get sick of the same old jokes.

Im quite nervous about tomorrow's presentation. Actually not very nervous this morning. But when I saw the rest of the groups presenting today, I started to get nervous with them. A bit freak out. Different groups have different versions of stoy when they came out. I wonder what will be our own version. Lunch with yiling they all at Bistro Walk. Super long time never crowd and eat together. Cant help to think that Sean is so bad to abandon Jason. Hahahahaha. The foods not very nice but the feeling very nice.

Uncle Lim is the best supervisor I ever seen. But the more he treat us so good, the more stress I felt. I think he had high expectations on us. A bit scare tomorrow will make him disappointed. Teo also said wanna drop by. But I really hope he wun. Super pressure!!! Today rehearse until very late. But im really very happy. Enjoyed every moment. Hope tomorrow everything will flow smoothly. I get my bullet proff vest ready.

Wanna shoot us?? F*** u. I shoot me... and u. (dun meant to be vulgar. maybe only my group understand) =PPPP

Dunno got people believe or not. I busy until I have got no time to cut my nails. Drag one week then get rid of the irritating long nails. Not to mention blog. I dun even have enough time to sleep lo. Bloody dark rings, eye bags, pimples, flu, cough, everything come and find me. As if not enough, I still got tutorials need to attend. Everyday can sleep for 6 hours damn happy le. Sound so poor thing, right? But I think there are people who suffer more than me lah. The whole Lom was spreading the sleepy aura all of a sudden (or was it me who feel that aura only?).

Bloody scary on Mon. Mon finally submit FYP report. Had an adventurous day going to Jalan Kayu photocopy appendix and lunch, went back to school to submit, went to office near Expo to return printer, went to Dtrans to collect loaned jackets and back to school again for tutorial. Report damn thick until I cant help to feel proud and pai seh at the same time. I think the thickness can fight with Harry Potter books. People was like so shock when they saw it. After report submit, everybody suddenly felt so tired. So tired that I nearly got into accident while driving. Sorry to scare everybody. The story spread like wild fire the next day. Somehow, a lot of people knew I nearly got into accident. Repeated a lot of versions. Inter freight tutorial was so much worst. Calculation question I can copy "Performance of resort". Dunno where the resort come from. Just suddenly snapped up, look at my incoherent lec notes blankly and think "what the hell am I writing?"

Presentation was on Friday. Honestly, Seriously, Im quite scare of it. Bloody. Im the first person to start, last person to end. Heard before that Oh hui ling once shoot a senior until she cried. I dun think I'll cry lah. I learnt a new policy. If she shoot, I shoot back lor. Die together. Hohohoho. Old vege they all presenting tomorrow. So worried for them. Yiling, Wanyan, Wenni, Weiping and Jian Shun (though I dunno him) JIA YOU!! 1 more day till it's our turn.

I WANNA SLEEP!!!!!!

Maybe it's time for you to assess yourself...

I get angry ever so easily. I need to seriously shut in a room and reflect on myself. If I continue like that, im going to turn old faster than I thought. Dun feel like getting some wrinkles-free cream at this age at Sasa.

Our report is getting to the end!!! Woohooo~~~ What a tough period. Because of this stupid project, I been neglecting most of my friends. I been feeling very bu zi zai lately cuz I can hardly get any message in a day. Then I remember it's becuz I couldnt reply and meet my friends. =(((( Im so gonna to make up with them after this crap finish.

On the sad note, we are graduating in a less than a month. So fast... Im going to miss TP and my friends. The whole schooling feeling, the students' benefits, the environment... Haiz. I really prefer schooling than working. I told this to quite a lot of people. Uncle Lim said im crazy. I think so too. I rather prefer working since im going to be working for the next decades of years until I die. Better to like working than like studying. But my brain and heart really like studying more. =(((

Some more work to be done before we bid goodbye to FYP. Though I keep complaining about FYP, it's one of the memorable big event in my Poly life that I wun ever forget.

Been chionging FYP for the past 3 days. Got sleep like no sleep cuz the total time we sleep is like 4 hours for the past two days. Yesterday night manage to sleep for 6 hours. Earn 2 hours. Now still chionging to compile and edit everything so we can send to uncle lim to see.

Didnt do a project like that before. Do project do until 2 consecutive nights stayed in celine's house. I always wanna try how stayover feels like but now after 2 consecutive nights, I miss my house, miss my bed, miss my bear bears. Stayover can be fun ....... without FYP.

Bloody tired now eh. Yesterday just took my last napfa test ever in my life. As usual, I failed my 2.4km. I think we are so cool. While everybody is running, we literally walk from the start point to the end point. Literally because there are organisers at some stations shouting at us to run. We ran a little to ying chou them lor. Anyway, I already failed my standing board jump. A bit wasted lah cuz the rest of the four stations I passed. Wanyan keep on laughing at me the whole day. Tsk tsk. And I got the number "138". Van also laugh at the number. Like rubbing salt to the wound. I wanna buy 4D but I think they dun accept by this timing.

Now Sean and celine still doing my compilation part. I started to feel a bit bu hao yi si to let them do my work. So I go back and do. Good part is I can go home tonight!!! Home Sweet Home~~~

Maybe my group members are going to kill me if they know im blogging at this moment. Tonight is the night that everybody in my group finally found the sense to chiong all night... And maybe tomorrow night as well.

I dunno why. I cant help myself not to blog. Had a totally wonderful day yesterday if you didnt count in the bloody stomachache. I drove the gang to ikea for dinner even though everybody end lessons until quite late. I think you can call it ku zhong zuo le. Find some entertainment in the midst of unhappiness. The only regret is to put chloe at the front passenger seat cuz she was totally screaming the head off. I dunno why but I dun think my driving is so scary. Everybody was like laughing so hard at her screaming. I dun think I dare to take her car next time. Dunno what to do if she starts screaming "ZHE ME BAN??!!! WO YAO BRAKE!! WO BU HUI BRAKE!! YAO ZHUANG DAO LE!!! AHHHHHH~~~" Think ikea's meatballs had a damn strong magnetic strength that can draw 6 girls to just go there for dinner.

Today was so different. Totally sucky in the morning. One word of description: Hurt. Think maybe I treasure this friendship more than I thought I do. But it came out that the trust and bond is so brittle that it's broken so easily. I really dun think it's nice to comment like that if the whole situation isnt understood well. Anyway, afternoon is nice! Haven eat western food for so long. I still dunno why so many people like Mensa 2 Salad Bar. I think if my mum set up stall there, it can lined up to Jurong.

Went back to office at 5 plus.... again..... But at least there're some results today. Gossip quite a lot. Hohoho. And Sam is a really nice guy who offered to recommend us to his friend there to work after we graduate. But pity is I dun think I wanna work in Logistics field after graduate. Temporary still okay lah. =D

Wanted to make my specs since the popular voucher going to expire on 30th jan. Im worried that I dun have the time to make cuz that period is near to FYP submission and presentation. Went to EastPoint Optic Point with dad as laoma need to work. Had a bloody angry experience.

I showed the bloody uncle the voucher after I went in. He had other customers so he told me to look around myself. So I went to look at the specs and wait for him. The shop got a bloody few hundreds of specs on display. Me and laopa totally dunno where to start looking. Bloody shit. Waited until the customers in front of us said "we will consider" and left then he approached us and asked "Have you chose your spec?"

Then I said "too many specs, I dunno where to start". I tot he will start to introduce or recommend but he bloody hell just said "Just try on the specs lor" and start idling on his own! I tot I can prompt him to introduce and asked what's the differences between the specs on display. He still dare to tell me "colour different lor." Bloody hell! You think I bloody cant see the colour different?!........... That was so helpful.............. The worst part is a pair of mother and son came in after we stand in the shop for like 20 mins? Immediately when the mother said she's looking for a spec for her son, he started choosing specs for them and introduce what vision this and that!!! I am so so so damn angry! SO WHAT? We cant afford to buy specs?? Why are they being served while we were left alone for so long in the shop?

I purposely scattered all the specs on the table and dun put them back on the rack. Since he so bloody free, im doing a good deed to give him some work. Then I said aloud to my dad "Laopa, zhe ge ren heng bu hui zhuo sheng yi! Wo bu yao mai le!" My dad still very nice and try to put back the specs I scattered. I bloody said "Bu yao guan tai! Wo men zou!" and waited for my dad at the shop front. I saw the bloody UNCLE and shoot him a very bu shuang face and left. I am so going to boycott that shop forever. Gou yan kan ren di. I finally can visualise the whole picture fully.

Uni course submission starts next week. I honestly have no idea of what to take or what I can take. JDLSG told me to use cancelling method. Cancel away those I dun like. I think if I use that method, I would have left with no course to take. Haha. Cuz I dun like Engineer, not good in IT, helpless in Arts, scared of Science and bored of Business. So technically I should be working. Worst of all, I happened to hate working as well. I dunno what the bloody hell I should do. I told them I actually wanna try taking psychology but they think it's impossible. I also think it's quite unlikely la since I haven touch science since JC's chemistry which I failed terribly. Becuz uni's school fees are so exp. I dun dare to waste one year experimenting and realise I dun like what im learning.

I wanna get the best out of life. In fact, I hate to conform to the normal 9-6 office style. I know I cant stand it like those dark SIP days. I totally remember how I wish it's the end of the day every morning when the day just starts. Imagine forcing yourself to go work every every day for the sake of money. Wasting every every minute of your life doing stuff that you really really hate doing. Is that call living? Today interview one dispatch uncle. He said handling Ad-hoc, life can pass easier. Sooooo... Life is about making it to pass faster and easier? =(

Imagine working forcefully, 10 or more years down the road, I started to question myself "What have I really been doing all these years?" It's so sad. Totally meaningless. To live for the sake of living. To work for the sake of money. To smile for the sake of faking. Then wasting all those years so that life can pass easier, in another word, waiting to die lah.

Haiz. Bloody. Write so long still no conclusion. Time is almost 12am. Haven accomplish anything. Celine is going to scold me for sleeping late again. I think laoma should be nagging me soon. Hohoho. Just said only. She start asking liao. Kay lah. Tomorrow stuff, tomorrow then think. Adieu~~

Today is a bloody tired day, accumulated from yesterday night incident. (Btw, I progressed from the habit of saying shit to bloody. I bloody cant kick the habit of saying bloody.) I learnt to never never never trust my bloody computer to do last minute submission. So shit. It failed me terribly lor. My weekly journal in the end cant be submitted. And I bloody worried about the late submission until I kana involve in a minor incident. Maybe it's minor to me but not to the other party lah. But im not really caring. At least not as much as my late weekly journal. My group members looked very brightly about this matter though which makes me feel silly to feel worried too.

I think im going to fall sick. I think lah. Cuz I dun really feel well the whole day. But just now after bath, feel a lot better. I think it's because of the stupid prata I ate this afternoon. Old people cannot take in greasy foods. Stomach, Small intestine and Big intestine cannot take it. Worse still, I need to go back office to collect the unfinished datas from last week. Speaking about this, I really feel like swearing bad words. Why on earth did I bloody go and believe that they will cooperate and help us fill in the datas. Im like super disappointed lahhh. We are like rushing to finish our project and thought that they would help but they are TOTALLY not cooperative AT ALL. I never never plead someone to do stuff like I did today. My style is if I can do, I would have done myself. But how can I bloody go and record their mileage for them. I dun understand how tough it is to write down the few numbers. Damn angry. And our mei you yi qi de group members abandoned us and went home. In the end, the two of us have to trot back home sadly lor. =(((((

I dunno if they understand we are trying to help them or not. It's like we are asking help from them instead. I got this awful feeling they hate seeing us already. Which is quite sad cuz I really quite like them during SIP. The last impression is so bad.

Am in Lom Centre now. Just finished my Bio- Chem test and having break. Didnt bring my tumb drive to do my fyp thingy. Havent forsee that I have the time to do. So I planned to study for the freight test tomorrow. But I dun have mood to study. That book now laid open in front of me. But my eyes on the screen, typing my blog. Quek Ying Zhen, are you bloody going to flunk your mid sem???!!!!

Today and tomorrow are qian bian lian's bdae. For celebration, I shall not call him qian bian lian........ for two days. Happy Birthday, Laodi.

Lalalalala. I have lesson later at 3pm. Had a lot of things haven do. Haven finish study for Bio-chem test which is tomorrow. Much less to say Inter freight test on wed. But I dunno why I just cannot kick off the habit to come blog. Later driving to school again since my dad wun be using. Still freaking cool to think about it.

My bro last minute then tell us he need presentation wear. In the end, I have to go with him cuz my mum not assured to let him go on his own. Afterall, he's that kind who chop chop buy le jiu go home that kind. Dunno how to check bargain, dunno what is fashion, etc etc. So I go with him despite many things left undone. The feeling to really shop and buy things is sooo....... shuang. I dun have other descriptive word. Just shuang. Right now they got clearance sales everywhere. Im so excited when I saw the Big BIG SALES tag at every shop. G2000 also got its legendary 70% sales. Laodi tried a few suites and bought them home. The victory prizes for the day were 1 long sleeve blouse, 1 long pant, 1 tie, 1 pair of formal leather shoes. Total $117.90. So proud of myself. Other people buy one suite may even exceed that price. The best thing is those stuff are nice one! My mum keep saying they match very well. Hohohohohohohoho.

I cant wait to shop for my new year clothes. Hope the sales last long enough for me to finish my stuff first.

Im not the one kana shoot these few days. There is a new gay guy being target nowadays. And I learnt to abuse the authority a little. =PPP

These two days are TP Open House. I participated it for the past two years. It's a bit wierd to do project in the library when outside sounds so high and fun. I haven really go and see the whole school setup. Last year already. Feel a bit sad to be left out. Just now we walked past the concourse bridge. The iguides were like "WE SAY THANK U, WE SAY THANK U, WE SAY THANK U, THANK U, THANK U...." Bloody embarassing. I cant stop laughing. But so nostalgic. Once upon a time, I was also so young and energetic, cheering and embarassing those di di, mei mei.

By the way, im so happy everybody was safe and sound after yesterday. Cuz I was driving the whole day. They said I drive until very scary and I almost hit a car by inches. But I couldnt remember anything about going to hit any car. The feeling of driving by myself is still as cool as ever.... for now. Hope I wun get tired of it so soon. We went ikea! But I didnt get to eat the ice cream. I love the ice cream over there. =((( The meatball spagetti stuff me until quite full. And that's when I heard a damn disgusting poem from "William Shakespeare II". Newly created [The Fire and Sparks] 2010 edition. =DD

Supposed to K yesterday night. But didnt book the room and the room under maintenance. So I very comically go and come back.

Had a lot of things to do. Shall continue my project. Adieu, my friends...

Honestly, I have half a mind accessing to the internet during break and remove the previous post. But who knows this morning, wanyan already starts talking about it. I bu hao yi si remove le. So I just let that anger post stay there and manifest. Tomorrow doing project again. Dunno what kind of day to expect. Maybe im going to be shoot again. Bad thing is I dun have bullet proof vest. I kept forgetting to loan from Mr Tan.

The only thing im looking forward to is driving. Im driving tomorrow!!! Im driving everybody. Going to lunch at Ikea which is so cool!!!

So many people having birthday these two months. I think im going broke buying presents. I left two to three presents to buy, i think. Finally decided to go for prom. But that would mean more money spent. I want nobody nobody but $$~~

Since very very long ago, I had started to dread doing FYP. I think it's not the first time I said this. I hate being a leader. I hate I hate I hate... I believe all my group members think im so damn incompetent. For the past 20 years, this is the first time I heard of Microsoft Project which freaking hell can make a gantt chart out. And I used a Microsoft word. I think this post is turning into an anger post any moment when I continue. I hope nobody is going to be offended by what I said. I know it's hard not to be offended but I really need some source to divert my unhappiness that had been bottling up for so long.

It's not that I didnt realise time is limited. In fact, I tried to say during the last meeting. But everybody said we sure can finish on time. Not that I doubt anybody's capability but im really unhappy when you all just shoot me and said I am not urgent at all. Im just so sick of being said why boss this, why boss that even I know that they are meant to be jokes. But you know, sometimes jokes can carry too far, carry too long until they lost the meaning of funny and end up being irritating. So so tired of having my ideas rebound back with everybody standing at one line and im like the baddy who's trying to ruin the life by assigning impractical jobs. I am particularly fed up when I heard you asked "You all haven do Analysis?" Are you not belonging to the "you all"?? I dunno if you all know that I hate hearing "whichever, whichever makes you happy." Because im definitely not happy. The project is ours. It's not I want to do this, I want to do that. I hate forcing. If doing any job is that unwilling, I will be very willing to take any job on my own. Sure it's funny the first few times it was used. But not anymore.

Im so sorry for being so incompetent. I just dunno how to lead. Afterall, it's the first time I try to. And im so sorry for making anybody angry after reading. I just wanna shoot everything out before I can really continue. Bottling up is hard.

Hohohohohoho.... I kope this photo from celine's blog. Been waiting for her to blog cuz I dun have the photos. In case the photo doesnt show clear enough, it's actually me driving. Snap shot while the lights are red. The feeling was soooooo shuang!!!!!!!!!! For the first time ever since I got my license, im driving without the supervision of my dad. I drove alone!!! So shuang!!!! No need squeeze bus, etc etc. And I got this super cool feeling when I msg "Eh. I drive u home, kay?" That celine was also so happy to be fetch to school and sent home when her house is just opposite school. Lol!!!!! My brother said we were wu liao. But I dun think he knows the bloody cool feeling we both were having. Think my parents were worried. Called to check when we were back. Hohoho. Im super duper proud of myself!!!

First thing I saw from 2010 was......

I think it's the brightest moon I ever seen. It shone through the room's window. Though it sounds lame, it's kinda give a goody feeling. Especially when the clouds around were so dark and it looked like it's gonna rain.

Somehow, 2010 may be a great year. Happy New Year!!!!

Last day of 2009. Came as a bit too normal for me. It looks pretty much like any normal day but it is sadly, the last day of 2009. Received and sent a lot of Happy New Year messages to everybody but honestly, I dunno why coming to a new year is happy. I think the time passed too fast for me to really enjoy or appreciate. Hope 2010 will slow down a bit.

Maybe is I old already. When I heard my brother said he wanna go countdown, it doesnt appeal as much as to me few years ago. Dun like to squeeze with the crowd. Last day of 2009 was spent in DTrans doing a damn inefficient project. Wanna surprise visit the other miserable group who are also doing project on new year eve. But somehow, they already knew we were visiting. So there's no surprise there and ...... they were tired. =(

I tried to read my blog to recap what had happened over the year. Dunno why I felt embarassed reading my own blog. I fully understand why they said my blog is long and naggy. So much details. So pai seh. Anyway, I couldnt remember most of the stuff cuz my memory of 2009 was clouded and occupied by shitty SIP, FYP.

2009 Memorable Events
1) Sartorius working experience (bet Celine and HP couldnt even remember this one)
2) Our goals =DD
3) T05
4) Johnny Tan Fans Club (J.T. FC)
5) Doc YW vs Merlion
6) Driving License!!!
7) Ikea Manic
8) 4E1 ECP Gathering
9) Zoo zoo Zoo
10) Yam Cha
11) Thursday Basketball
12) Dreadful Birthday
13) ECP Drinking & Poker
14) AGM & Last AGM (Barossa)
15) Nevertheless, SIP (a) Meng Tong, Winnie K outing (b) Jumbo Farewell Dinner
16) Nov 26th cum Esplanade rooftop
17) Shitty FYP
18) JDLSG K-ing
19) Sinful Christmas Eve
20) Otaku New year eve

Last day, last second of 2008, I was thinking "Bloody. I dun wanna turn 20."
Last day, last second of 2009, I was thinking "Bloody. I dun wanna turn 21."