Somebody kill me. I think im failing all my tests. Econs test today mcq tough. But section b ok. And I didnt finish it becuz I dun have time to finish it. How shit is it???? Total 6 marks not done AT ALL. Worse thing is I know how to do one and I didnt do time just becuz there's no time!!!!! =((((( Even though it marks the end of mid term tests, I dunno if I should be happy or not. Cuz I think I did badly for all of them.

There must be a limit to my road idiot. A school I been attending for the past one month and I actually got lost finding a place I went before. I almost got late becuz of walking cluelessly around.

Yeah. You are right. I have got no time management. And it's not that I dunno. But I dunno how to start changing. Sometimes I hate myself too.

Seriously sleep deprived. Soooo tireddddd~~~

I know our differences right from the start. The differences are so big that I sometimes cant stand it any longer. The topics we talked are different, the language we want to use are different, the things we are interested are different... in fact everything is different. Yet, I have to put up with everything. Rather walking solo, than engaging in meaningless superficial conversations.

I know this is life. But I just cant come to term with it. Maybe I'll somehow, eventually. But not now. Im getting used to alone. Eat alone, walk alone, attend lecture alone. But im at ease at it. Becuz all of these are at my own pace.

Think im failling my tests. I dun think anybody can understand how I feel.

Maybe like they said, im lazy.

Had tons of studies to do. Maybe wun sleep tonight and study throughout. Shouldnt have come and blog in the first place since I had so much to do. But cant control myself. A bit emo now. I used to read my friends' blogs and laughed at the contents. But now, every single blog is filled with the same emo-ness derived from the difficulty in life. Probably one year ago, we wun even think of those hardness in life. Life really change, we really mature. No longer innocent and naive to the reality. No longer getting excited over a simple zoo or yam cha trip. How I miss those days...

I really wish I have extra time in a day. So I can have enough time for different commitments. Everybody, everything is very important to me. Study, work, family day, date.... Family, cousins, friends, bf and colleagues.... But my time just isnt enough. Im exhausting all my time. I hope I have sufficient energy to keep things on. If only I can have better time management. If only I have more than 24hours a day....

We emo when Life's hard. Tend to forget that Life's short too. Why make this short life miserable and let opportunities forgo?

After so many years, I finally have a room of my own!!! I remembered when im primary 6, one of my birthday wish is to have my own room. But this wish drag until now then fulfill. Spent yesterday afternoon shifting furnitures and wipe endless dust. Wipe until my nose irritate and sneeze the whole day. But the room was finally done!!!!! Feel like inviting a lot of people to come my room play. =PPP Yesterday night tried to sleep alone in the room for the first time. So weird. A 21 years old lao ah ma first time sleep alone. My parents shifted my bed position. A bit not use to this new feng shui. Nevertheless, I still slept until 1 plus pm today. =D

Yesterday night went to mas's birthday celebration. Heard that her whole 4 hours in Fika costs her $2K+ which is like ???!!!!!!. I thought mine is quite expensive but hers is even expensive!!! And her cake costs $300+ ??!!!! Though I dun really like the heavy cream cake, I still eat finish cuz it's so expensive. Didnt know that 21st got tradition to break a pony to get the sweets within. Saw mas hit other friends accidentally cuz she was blind folded. So funny.

Went to admin job again. Totally not enough sleep until I fell asleep in train standing up straight again. Whole body was leaning very nua-ing to the train wall. Dunno and dun care how people see and think about me. Im so bloody tired to mind those. Was late for work but fortunately was earlier than my supervisor.

Jessica had nothing to give me do today. Gave me some simple data entry and scanning job and that's all. Every time I went work, I can finish my econs tutorial. So good!!!! Earn money and finish tutorial at the same time. Jessica kept telling me to sit and rest cuz maybe she's also doing the same thing. I think working life is like that. Always find time to slack when possible. Cuz working life is simply too boring!! Hmmm. At least that's how I think about working. But had to say it's good money lahh. Sit all day do nothing and get money.

Fan jian me still thinking about banquet. I miss banquet like..... dunno how to describe. Miss rws. Dunno why im so attached to this place like negative charge magnet meet positive charge magnet. Bad analogy, I know. Lol. But I just wanna emphasize on the attachment. The ballroom, the chairs, the skirting, Leo, Aquarius...... Tomorrow suppose to work at there for martial art combat. I wanna see martial art combat badly since it started. But I always have no fate to see it. Everytime is either they deploy me work elsewhere or I didnt work on martial art days. Finally when I get the martial art slot, my mum dun let me work. =( Will never ever going to see them fight. Haiz.

1 hour and 15 mins ago, ah gong just had her bdae. Happy bdae ah gong. Sorry it's a bit late to address here in the blog. But it's the thoughts that count bah. Hohohoho~~

Need to sleep early. Sleep deprived!!!!!!!! Nights!

After yesterday celebration, I guess I wun do another same kind of celebration in my entire life ever. To sum up the whole feeling, I exprienced happiness, worries, confusion, disappointments and clueless. But all in all, I felt very blessed. Blessed with so many good friends and relatives to make time and celebrate birthday with the old me. A bit overwhelmed by the number of people too. Cuz my dad invited his friends too. So practically the whole chalet was pretty crowded with people. I feel bad becuz I didnt think im a good host. So so so sorry!!!

The whole celebration was very expensive. Setting the celebration is expensive and birthday presents are expensive too. Made me feel that the small individual me dun deserve so much. My exotic family even got me a bra set. Despite feeling out of place, I must say that set looks quite nice. But I dun think there'll be chance to wear it. And... er.... thank you for laoyi's consideration to even invent the padding. I suppose I wun need it!!!! =PPP

Hardly had time to makan. Anata's belt made me unbreathable, much less to eat. I didnt eat much of my cake even though celine cut a big portion for me. Out of a stroke of inspiration, I bought light stick braclet for my guests. The market was overwhelming that the kids from next door chalet came asking for it. But I have got limited stock so I gave them 3. And it started to be annoying when they keep coming back asking for more. Geezzzzz.... To the extent that they asked from shu hui?!

Had two professional makeup artists too. Hahahahahaa. Yesterday's makeup specially handled by zoe and karina. My bro becomes the lighting man.

Still feel a bit disorientated from yesterday chalet. Anyway, wanna thanks all of you for everything!!!

Friday night was very fun!!! Thanks to the group who came. I really enjoyed myself!!!!

Time and again, you ride over my trust and belief in you.

IM 21 YEARS OLD!!!!!! Freaking old!!!!!!! Im so old that I cant believe im so old!!! What am I saying??? Doesnt matter. What matters is the fact that im an OLD woman NOW!!! Why am I so old?????

Had loads of read up to do. Loads of papers to print. Loads of things to understand but I just dun have the mood to do so. Today has a very nice weather. So nice that I slept until 2pm. =P