Demoralised since yesterday. I really flunked my econs. My mood sinks like ... like ... like ... Titanic. Yeah. Like titanic. Lost in the Atlantic Ocean. Dunno what to do. Went to school today with a super dread feeling that I wish im at home, safely in my room, hiding from the reality and the hateful school. Felt dazed when I saw my results. Prayed for the first time after so long. Hoping that my problems can be solved one by one eventually. Maybe too tired. Fell asleep halfway while praying and wake myself up to continue praying. This cycle continues for a few times before I finished praying.

Amazingly, the lessons today were still manageable. Econs paper return next week. Though it's one more week of dreading, im glad the paper doesnt return to me today. Especially with the kind of feeling I had this morning.

The real thinking occurred when I was on the way back home from school. Long journey stimulates thinking and emotions. All of a sudden, I feel like observing the small small minor things happened while travelling back. The railway track, the sky, the truck, the people, what they wear, etc. Sounds so cliche but it's really what I did. And seriously speaking, I felt so so so much better after doing that.

Plus, I realised my problems arent really problems compared with those who are struggling to survive. There are people who have even more unsolvable problems and arent as pessimistic as I am in every ways. Like what hp told me. About her friend's dad passed away and her mum has to feed three kids alone. I mean. Exam results and relationships no good, I at least can make up for it. But love ones pass away, how to make up for it?

So I have decided. I wun give up or run away. Im going to face it bravely and redo my whole life again. Books and exams wun bother me. I have seen them all my life. And they arent going to taut me now. Im qyz. And qyz is power one!!! =P

My new favourite song...