There comes a time when I really wanna talk to someone and nobody comes to my mind. Which is probably why I turn to blogging when I haven been blogging for a very long time. at 2:19am right now, I am really very troubled. I am turning 24 years old this sep but I still haven got a clue what I want to do.

When I was studying, I thought long and hard about this topic but always cannot make up with an answer. Somehow I managed to persuade myself out of this complex topic by thinking that the answer will come to me after I graduated. Now I have graduated, I still do not have an answer..... What do I do now? I cant foresee my future. Of course if I tell to other people, they would have given me the standard advice.... follow your heart.... do what you really want to do.... what's your interest.... but seriously, everytime people asks me these questions, i dunno how to answer. I want to write novels or open my own business. Is this possible right now?

Anyway, I have sent resumes over the past few months. I had to admit that I wasnt very active in sending or looking for jobs. I was being selective and hesitant. It's either those jobs arent to my preferences or I had already start to worry about the job scopes even before I apply. And even if I apply one, there isnt any reply. Most of them are sales job. Out of these sales job, 70% belongs to Financial Consultant. I had been a little bit desperate to the extend that I might just take up the financial consultant position. My cousin even helped me to get recommendation letter to apply for ocbc financial consultant. But..... I dun think it is really what I want. Maybe I have been considering too much but it feels like a very important decision to me right now and I dun wish to apply for the sake of applying.

Im feeling a little useless right now. I have been ranting but I haven put in much effort to change. My family, cousins and friends are helping me to look out for jobs. While I feel grateful towards them, I also feel burdened. I dun wish to disappoint any of them but I really haven found the job I like. I think my mentality towards choosing jobs and shopping are the same. I always have difficulty to find something I like enough to buy during shopping. Am in a dilemma right now..... What to do now??