Hi, Hi. It's me again at this kind of weird time. Seems like 2am plus is a good time to blog and reflect on all the stuff...much better than sleeping, since I cant get to sleep at the moment. The backup job, that I have been pending hopes upon, is actually a scam. Though I have my doubts over the past week, I have convinced myself that it is a legal sales and marketing job I have seen elsewhere. I did put in effort during the interviews. I even felt that I had performed fairly well for it. But I didnt expect that the problem doesnt lie with me... the problem lies with the company.

It was first known as FT group. I went and researched about it and only learnt that it is a sales and marketing company representing its clients. I was more moved to the job because it stated that it's a fulfilling job, raising funds for its NGO clients. But I didnt know that beh.ind that branded new name is its main master, Appco group. Pxjj and Pl kept throwing doubts about this job. Honestly, I felt offended because I felt that they seem to mock at my incapability to find a decent job up till now. I know I shouldnt feel this way but it just came across my mind anyway. But thanks to them, I went to research more about the company. The moment I googled it, all negative forum pages and news started to surface. These forums are even left behind by its former employees. What can I say about this company?

It must be a scam.

I hate this feeling of returning back to the starting point. Even though I know that I didnt really like sales job very much, I still went ahead with it because I really want to settle down on a job. Slacking at home is comfortable but I cant continue this life the way it is for too long. I hate being free loader, hate being look down upon and hate being financially look after upon because I have no income. I have too much pride and dignity that it hurts to live this way. Tonight is a pretty emo night. It just proved how gullible and inexperience I am to fall for such sales gimmick. I have to grow from this experience.
____________________________

Anyway, starting a new topic, I just visited pek pek last Saturday. Time flew. It's reaching one year this coming 2nd august. Till now, I haven quite believe that he had left us. His photo on the stone grave is smiling so lightly. He would never have thought that the photo will be used for this purpose at the time when he took it. I have never been very close to him but I still feel sad at the thought of it. He really had tough life when his days were nearing back then. It made life seems very meaningless when I looked at his stone grave. All his struggles, all his persistence, all his efforts have now resolved to nothing. In years to come, probably no one would have remember anything that he had done or said before.

Mandai is a depressing place that makes me wonder how do people still reside there. The memories I had of there are all unpleasant. I still remember that at the time of visit, I had a joke with my brother which made me laugh long and hard. After laughing, I realized a guy sitting at the corridor was wiping his tears away. All the humour vanished instantly. I then realized that Mandai is also a place without laughter and vigor. Ironically, some day I will also reside there permanently like my pek pek.

I am sorry for the depressing emo entry. Too bad that nothing happy had happened recently and I only remember about blogging whenever I am unhappy. Even singing K today pissed me off. I was supposed to type complaint letter instead of blog post but I am too preoccupied with my own stuff. Will try to remember to blog more often. I feel better already. =)